Hello all,
I'm writing from the lovely little town of Homer, Alaska. It's beautiful here; you can see the sea from just outside the door.
I've come here to be a nanny to a family that owns a seaside inn. I'm staying in a room at the inn and it's been very interesting. I've been here for three weeks now.
Originally I was supposed to be here for at least a year, but it doesn't seem like it will end up that way. You see, I'm having a very hard time here and I don't think it will be healthy for me to stay much longer. The days will start to get much shorter and much colder, and that equates to me being a much sadder person.
I didn't realize how much of my happiness was based on my identity and individuality. Living in the room of somebody else and eating the food that belongs to somebody else and spending my time with children who are related to somebody else makes me feel like I am losing my sense of self. It's all very odd and I didn't expect it to end up like this. It's hard to explain how it feels and why it's distressing to me, but it is. I've been alarmingly depressed since I got here. Dreading waking up in the morning is not the way I want to live during the next year.
My employer noticed that I was very down and was very compassionate toward me. In fact, it was she who suggested that it might be a bad idea for me to stay. I'm so grateful toward her, as this is not how I imagined this scenario playing out. She has been so kind and understanding, and I really could not have asked for a better employer for this to happen with.
I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason and that there are lessons to learn in every situation. Therefore, I have compiled this comprehensive list of all of the things I have learned thus far whilst being in Alaska:
1. Moose don't always have antlers
2. It is possible to live 4 1/2 hours drive from a Walmart while being in the United States
3. I do not want to ever live 4 1/2 hours drive from a Walmart while in the United States again.
4. Small towns can be charming, but also very boring.
5. I don't like caring for children who are not related to me.
6. Cooking dinner every night is hard. (when I'm living alone I usually just snack on stuff throughout the day-- I don't really eat meals)
7. People in Alaska are very friendly
8. I really love my family and want to be close to them
9. Living in a hotel isn't as fun as it sounds
10. I can actually get sick from eating too much cookie dough
My employer is currently in search of a new nanny, and I should be back with my family before Thanksgiving. Also, I should be able to try moose meat in the next week because my employer's father just shot one. so, that's going to happen...
I hope all is well,
Kate
